May 30th 2009
Whee! Grrr! Obama’s Gitmo Follies
“Whee! It’s fun being president! I think I’ll close that nasty ol’ Gitmo!”
“Grrr! This is more … what was that word I used on the campaign? … nuanced than I thought! This job sucks! What can I run for next to get out of this?”
So it goes with the WheeGrrrs – Uighers – and Obama’s quest to rid the world of evil, one detention facility for evil people at a time.
Relying on Andy McCarthy’s post at The Corner, we see the Uigher dance going something like this:
- Uighers trained by al-Qaeda-affliated group recognized by U.S. to be terrorists
- Uighers picked up while on a trip to the Mall of Afghanistan to buy some “USA Rocks!” T-shirts
- Uighers sent to Gitmo; become cause celebre of the Left
- Military, fed courts rule that sure, they are terrorists, but their beef is with China, not us, so they’re not enemy combatants
- No country will take them except China, but we can’t ship them there because of a treaty that precludes us from deporting people to certain torture and/or death
- Fed. judge Richard Urbina rules the Uighers can be released into the US
- In a refreshingly moment of clarity in an otherwise stupidity-clouded story, higher-up fed judge Raymond Randolph overrules Urbina and finds that “just because courts have the power to review whether a prisoner is properly designated an enemy combatant does not mean they have the power to order the release into the United States of those found not to be enemy combatants.”
- The Uighers, catching on to the US courts game, appeal
- The Obama Justice Dept. files a brief that reads like it was written by John Yoo. The Uighers, says the brief, “would like the federal courts to order that they be brought to the United States, because they are unwilling to return to their home country. But they have no entitlement to that form of relief.”
In a transparent attempt to shield the prez from leftist outrage, the Justice Dept. waited until late Friday to file its brief. But then, Obama is all about transparency, right?
Hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t we just keep the Uighers on some U.S. territory on a certain Communist Caribbean island, where we can stash them out of sight, out of mind, at a safe distance until someone steps up to accept them, or forever, whichever comes first?
Of course, to do that, Obama would have to break a campaign promise. You know, like going through the federal budget line by line to cut pork. Oh wait! Can I say “pork?” A Muslim may see it and get offended … and I might be shipped off to Gitmo.
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