Cheat Seeking Missiles

Posted by: Laer at 06:02 am

ello, contestants, studio audience and everyone at home in their Barcaloungers! You know what time it is! Yes, it’s time to play that game of two plus two equals 850 billion … Name That Party!

OK, Contestants, hint number one: The five state reps and sens we’re looking at today - Reps. Ben Cannon and Michael Dembrow and Sens. Jackie Dingfelder, Diane Rosenbaum and William Morrisette - come from a rainy state in the Northwest long known as a hangout of hippies, tree-huggers and other assorted Libs.

No, too bad! It’s not Washington but it’s close.

That’s right, Oregon!

Great! Now - audience be sure to not shout out your answer! - hint number two: Oregon is famous for its locally brewed beers. Sure, it’s got great wheat and hops - but can you think of another reason why beer brewers would set up shop in Oregon?

Because it rains all the time and what else can they do? Ha, ha, ha! No, and I think the sun shines sometimes! Contestant three?

That’s right! Because Oregon has the second-lowest state tax on beer in the whole nation!

Now, your final clue! Reps. Ben Cannon and Michael Dembrow and Sens. Jackie Dingfelder, Diane Rosenbaum and William Morrisette have just introduced legislation that would raise Oregon’s tax on kegs of beer by 1,900 percent, which would cost every working, blue-collar guy in the state a buck fifty more every time he orders a beer in his local tavern. Got it?

And here’s your bonus clue: One of the Reps says it won’t be $1.50 more; it’ll just be 15 cents more!

So, what are Cannon, Dembrow, Dingfelder, Rosenbaum and Morrisette, friends of big business from the GOP, or Democrat friends of that blue-collar guy in the bar?

No, sorry, you’re wrong! They’re not Republicans! They’re Dems, every last, tax-crazed one of them! How do you think that will fly over at Al’s Place and the Dew Drop Inn?

Well, it’s anyone’s guess! Because we know Dems - the friends of the working man - just keep on electing idiots like this!

Hey, thanks for playing! All of our contestants will receive a brand new $20 bill - now worth just $16.50!

Hat-tip: Jim

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