December 28th 2008
Sunday Scan: Almost A New Year Edition
South Ossentia: It’s Just More Russia
I
t’s been six months since Russia pried South Ossentia out of Georgia’s hands, supposedly out of grave concern for the well-being of the South Ossentians. So, as Dr. Phil would say, how’s that workin’ for ya?
Not too good, according to Spiegel.
Besides Russia, so far only Nicaragua has recognized the separatist republic. Foreign journalists are only permitted to travel in the tiny country when accompanied by officials from the foreign ministry in Moscow. Even the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) and the European Union, which brokered the cease-fire between Russia and Georgia, are being denied entry by the South Ossetians and their protective power, Russia. For this reason, very little reliable information makes it out of the region.
This makes what recently appeared in Russian newspapers all the more surprising: that the republic is on the brink of social unrest, just as winter is beginning, because the government has allegedly embezzled Russian reconstruction aid funds, as the former South Ossetian defense minister and head of the security council, a Russian lieutenant general, explained; or that South Ossetian President Eduard Kokoity fled spinelessly during the war; and that millions of rubles deposited in the safes at the national bank in Tskhinvali had gone missing and that Russian businesspeople are refusing to invest in South Ossetia while its brawny separatist leader remains in power.
In South Ossentia, any controversy is squelched by “state secrets.” Any homes that are rebuilt are rebuilt through EU or American efforts, not Russian. Money disappears. Leaders flake.
In other words, Russia happens.
Holy Spirit … Or Lazy Right Parietal Lobe?
I
n a story nicely timed for Christmas – it ran on Christmas eve – we’re told all this spirituality mumbo-jumbo is easily explained by the application of cold, emotionless science:
What makes us feel spiritual? It could be the quieting of a small area in our brains, a new study suggests.
The area in question – the right parietal lobe – is responsible for defining “Me,” said researcher Brick Johnstone [Brick Johnstone?!] of Missouri University. It generates self-criticism, he said, and guides us through physical and social terrains by constantly updating our self-knowledge: my hand, my cocktail, my witty conversation skills, my new love interest …
People with less active Me-Definers are more likely to lead spiritual lives, reports the study in the current issue of the journal Zygon.
So is being spiritual nothing more than a turning down of the brain’s me-meter? Certainly, spirituality and selflessness go hand in hand, so there could be something to this, but there is much more to spirituality than mere selflessness.
Besides, to those who would take this news and use it to explain away religion and God, I ask you this: Who created the right parietal lobe?
Al, The Tireless Scammer
I
just got a fresh new email from Al Gore, warning me that although Obama has made the “climate crisis” (too hot? too cold? who knows?) a priority and appointed a climate team nutz enough to get Gore’s endorsement, it’s still bad news.
Gore (rhymes with the similarly gloomy Eeyore), laments:
The entrenched special interests will work tirelessly to stymie the progress the new administration is seeking to make. If the past is any indicator, they will invest hundreds of millions of dollars lobbying and advertising to stop policies that will protect the planet from the ravages of climate change.
As opposed to the hundreds of trillions Gore wants to spent tilting at global warming windmills? (As long as they’re not off Hyannis Port.)
But have no fear. Displaying the usual Goreconomics, we’re told that if we send Al’s group WE just $100, he’ll send you a free T-shirt. Here it is:
Is it just me, or do you also read the T-shirt as “Repo America?” The hidden agenda … revealed!
Where Greenies And Euthanasiacs Meet
W
aste not, want not. And now, waist not, want not. Ethicists, put on your thinking caps and sharpen your pencils because this is one bizarre story to ponder:
Liposuctioning unwanted blubber out of pampered Los Angelenos may not seem like a dream job, but it has its perks. Free fuel is one of them.
For a time, Beverly Hills doctor Craig Alan Bittner turned the fat he removed from patients into biodiesel that fueled his Ford SUV and his girlfriend’s Lincoln Navigator. …
A gallon of grease will get you about a gallon of fuel, and drivers can get about the same amount of mileage from fat fuel as they do from regular diesel, according to Jenna Higgins of the National Biodiesel Board. …
“The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel–and I have more fat than I can use,” Bittner wrote on lipodiesel.com [no longer on-line]. “Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly but they get to take part in saving the Earth.” (Forbes)
Perhaps the most amazing part of this story is this: Forbes tells us that California has a law prohibiting the use of human medical waste to power vehicles. Our legislators obviously have too much time on their hands.
Me? I’m all for it. We’re an overweight, under-fueled nation and I believe we should tap all our natural resources. If the day comes when fat bums are getting their fat liposuctioned for booze money I’ll reconsider.
Early Enough For You, Joe?
A
s Hamas lets a cease fire expire and accents the expiration with rockets, and Israel retaliates with air strikes and calling up the reserves, and the world does its usual grandstanding, we recall this, from the VP-elect:
Mark my words. It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We’re about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America.
Watch. We’re going to have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.
Not that it would take a Henry Kissinger to come up with this prediction, but it looks like Joe was right – especially since that’s the Hamas presidential HQ in the photo. Of course, middle eastern wars can be remarkably swift … six days, remember? … so this could be wrapped up by the time Obama moves from PEOTUS to POTUS. Or not. And if not, it pays to recall how Biden ended his prognostication:
And he’s going to need help . . . to stand with him. Because it’s not going to be apparent initially; it’s not going to be apparent that we’re right.
Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound like “stand by Israel” to me.
Take One For The Team, Barry
I
n one of the weirder op-eds of the waning political season, teen novelist Amy Goldman Koss covers the sensitive issue of Obama’s nicotine cravings:
Rumors persist that President-elect Barack Obama is trying to quit smoking. I hope they aren’t true.
The nation is too precariously balanced right now to risk having him burst into tears, or march off in a snit, or take to his bed with the glums.
It would jangle our already fragile national nerves to hear him smashing things offstage at news conferences. Nor do we want to watch him lose his train of thought and begin absent-mindedly lighting matches just to huff the sulfur and watch them burn.
I’ve quit several times myself and am now enjoying a years-long quit period that just might be permanent, so I think I need to agree – especially since “light smoking” can now impact a movie’s rating. We need a president who’s not afraid to support drifting cigarette smoke and intermittent cigar-chomping as cinematic mood-builders. Where have you gone, Humphrey Bogart? Oh, that’s right: lung cancer. Still:
I say heart disease, lung cancer, wrinkles and emphysema are personal issues. A president should be willing to take one for the team.
Will Obama be bold enough to smoke in the name of a saner president, or will his mamby-pamby PC attitudes win out? And more important, will the LA Times ever get honest enough to run a photo of Obama smoking instead of the insipid photo it ran with the op/ed:
Posted in Al Gore, Global warming, Israel, Obama, Palestine, Religion, Russia, Smoking | No Comments yet » | |
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