Cheat Seeking Missiles

reetings, those of you who have a moment on this Christmas Eve to read Cheat-Seeking Missiles. In nine hours, our home will be full of people - two or three dozen - who are expecting turkey, ham, fixings, pies and all manner of thing that will keep us busy today … but in this last quiet moment, I bring you glad tidings: The media remains a holy mess for our amusement.

The Media Research Center has presented its list of the most embarassingly awful quotes from the upper echelons of the Fourth Estate, and while it’s troubling to see just how damaged the media have become, these are so bad you have to laugh.

The winner of MRC’s Worst Reporting Award - no surprise here - is Chris Matthews. There were so many notable quotes this year from the wannabe future senator, but one stood out above all the other quotes of all the other reporters, himself included:

I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don’t have that too often….And that is an objective assessment.

Best to be a little less public in that sort of assessment, Chris.

And the award for best headline goes to Reuters for this post-election piece of fiction:

Media bias largely unseen in U.S. presidential race.

Here are a few more for your enjoyment:

The Obamagasm Award
“Some princes are born in palaces. Some are born in mangers. But a few are born in the imagination, out of scraps of history and hope.” — Time’s Nancy Gibbs in the November 17 cover story.

The Irrelevant Reverend Wright Award
“To see his [Jeremiah Wright’s] career completely destroyed by three 20-second soundbites, all of the work he has done, his entire legacy gone down the drain, has been absolutely devastating to me — to him, sorry….We are still a racist country.” — Washington Post writer Sally Quinn on PBS’s Charlie Rose, April 30.

From Camelot to Obamalot Award
“Today, the audacity of hope had its rendezvous with destiny….Obama is now an adopted son of Camelot. His candidacy blessed not just by the Lion of the Senate, patriarch of the clan, but by JFK’s daughter.” — David Wright on ABC’s Nightline January 28. And for this, she gets a senate seat?!

Politics of Meaninglessness Award for the Silliest Analysis
“Not doing it [fighting global warming] will be catastrophic. We’ll be eight degrees hotter in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years, and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals.” — CNN founder Ted Turner on PBS’s Charlie Rose, April 1.

Admitting the Obvious Award
“When NBC News first assigned me to the Barack Obama campaign, I must confess my knees quaked a bit….I wondered if I was up to the job. I wondered if I could do the campaign justice.”
— NBC reporter Lee Cowan in an article for NBC’s “The Peacock” advertising supplement, March 23-29.

Uh-huh. Well, we wonder no more. The media was most definitely not up to the job of covering the Obama campaign as objective third-party observers toting a nasty dose of skepticism.

There are plenty more awards handed out at MRC’s Web site, so check them all out.

Meanwhile, the Watcher of Weasels has posted the best o’ the blogs for this Christmas week. Watcher’s Council members will try to find time to read them between now and Christmas evening, and the results of our votes will be posted by the Watcher on Friday morning.