Cheat Seeking Missiles

Posted by: Laer at 11:51 am

I almost never lift a post in its entirety, but this is just too good, so what’s a rule if you never break one?

Without further adieu, Judeopundit’s Why can’t a Zionist be more like Iran? (Poor souls who have never seen My Fair Lady, be rebuked!)

DOCTOR AHMADINEJAD:
Why can’t the Zionists be like Iran?
Iran is so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historically fair.
Who, when you’re Mugabe, will always give your back a pat.
Why can’t the fake regime be like that?

Why does every one do what the other does?
Can’t a Kuffar learn to use his head?
Why do they do everything the Big Satan does?
Why don’t they grow up, well, like the Imam instead?

Why can’t the Zionists take after Iran?
Iran is so pleasant, so easy to please.
When they take you hostage, you’re always at ease.

Would you be slighted if I put your name in quotes?

GHOLAM-ALI HADDAD-ADEL:
Of course not.

DOCTOR AHMADINEJAD:
Would you be livid if I had a centrifuge?

GHOLAM-ALI HADDAD-ADEL:
Nonsense.

DOCTOR AHMADINEJAD:
Would you be wounded if I spoke of wiping you out?

GHOLAM-ALI HADDAD-ADEL:
Never.

DOCTOR AHMADINEJAD:
Well, why can’t the fake regime be like you?

Some Basij commander may shout a bit.
Now and then, there’s one who’s less than sublime.
One perhaps whose vigilance you doubt a bit,
But by and large we are a world paradigm!

Why can’t the Zionists take after Iran?
‘Cause Iran is so friendly, good-natured and kind.
A better ally you never will find.

If I hosted the First International Congress on the Culture of Resistance would you bellow?

GHOLAM-ALI HADDAD-ADEL:
Of course not.

DOCTOR AHMADINEJAD:
If I denied your silly Shoah, would you fuss?

GHOLAM-ALI HADDAD-ADEL:
Nonsense.

DOCTOR AHMADINEJAD:
Would you complain if Nasrallah was my fellow?

GHOLAM-ALI HADDAD-ADEL:
Never.

DOCTOR AHMADINEJAD:
Why can’t a Zionist be like us?

[dialog]

DOCTOR AHMADINEJAD:
Why can’t the Zionists be more like Iran?
Persians are decent, such regular chaps;
Ready to help you through any mishaps;
Ready to buck you up whenever you’re glum.
Why can’t a Zionist be a chum?

Why is thinking something Zionist never do?
And why is logic never even tried?
Martyring Palestinians is all they ever do.
Why don’t they straighten up the mess that’s inside?

Why can’t a Zionist behave like Iran?
If I had usurped the Al-Buraq Wall,
Been made a Pariah by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing,
Or carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I launch jets and never tell me where they’re going?
Why can’t a Zionist be like me?